ramble

I have been trying to get on here and vent off a bit but seems I never get the chance to do so. There are so many things that have been going through my mind I don't know where to start. I guess I'll just start somewhere and bounce around like I usually tend to do. Lately I've been wanting to spend time with someone just chill you know not really do anything but have company. Maybe hold hands, mess around, some kissing hahaha. Yeah I'm missing that. It sucks to be like this. Sometimes I think  that I need to make more friends but its not really me. I don't really stay on top of that. I don't even know if i'm doing it right. I don't call my friends let alone see them. Is that normal? I never been the close type of person. More like they need someone to talk to, vent off, someone that will listen. And i am there. But that's bout it. I am not gonna bitch bout my problems kus its ridiculous and lets face it no one gives a flying fuck bout it. So i won't be saying anything. That also has its cons. It makes me feel more sensitive to shit i can't hold myself together and i break a little. Im am so screwed up i have no fixing. I don't know how to fix myself. No one is going to fix me so i gotta find the way to do so but i just don't have a dam clue. My only way is to come on here and just type it out. I think in a way it helps me because i'm getting out of me and not holding it in.

AHHHHHH life is so insane i don't know if i was meant to be here. I don't feel like i belong. I have no idea what i want anymore, what is my thing? what am i good at? im just a lost soul. Nuts for sure, i honestly don't think i am sane hahaha. I guess i expect a lot from everyone, from the world, and i get short changed. I am always disappointed with the outcome i just feel like i am loosing hope. I am just not good enough to be here or for anyone for that matter.

Whats the point? The purpose?
guide me, let me see the light..........