I feel the darkness come over me dont let it take me help me get out dont let it consume me!!! H E L P M E!!

Sometimes i wish i was emotionally dead so i could not feel the pain, the love, or be afraid. Kus every time i feel i messed up i can feel my heart breaking

(Last week)There is only one more week left from 2010 its coming to a close. I am anxious for the new year to start, ready for change once again. Ready to start this journey once more and make it the best as i possibly can. Bring it 2011!!!

cold day

Today i woke up feeling pretty sick. No tenia animos de hacer nada de nada, i felt tired and sleepy. Pero me leventate, i put my robe on and i sat on the couch. I doze off many times kus i was just plain ass tired, its been cold and lonenly lol. Con ganas de ke tener un hombre a mi lado abrazandome and keeping me company. Hahaha yeah that would have been nice. So anyways aqui ando and my head hurts im still cold but what keeps me on is music. I love music, siempre me hacer sentir bien, me calma. Ultimamente eh estado pensando mucho and i mean a whole whole lot there is just so many things im missing out and i am tired of them passing me by. I know this are the last weeks of December 2010! Believe me im thinking ahead, i plan to be a stronger girl, tougher, i will accomplish things. Im gonna start a list and i will do it. No se como pero thats my goal for 2011.

Too sweet for my tooth

Im tired of everyone sugar coating things, I am not a kid anymore you can be straight up with me. Say things like you mean them not cover them up to make them seem like they are ok. Always being the one who gets the sour punch, to late to see it coming, im tired of all the fake shit, tired of you trying to be someone your not. Be true to yourself and just say it. They truth may not always taste good but its better that being know as a liar. Dont say you are going to do something when you don't mean it or you know your not going to freaking do it. Si no lo vas hacer no digas nada. Total es mejor una sorpresa que una decilusion.

December, December

Al fin a llegado el esperado mes, pronto comiensaremos un año nuevo y todo empiesa uno nuevo.
Segun yo este año iba a ser diferente y pues si lo fue y ahora ke termina me siento un poco confundida. En la vida pasan cosas inespertadas y lo ke me toco lo no espere pero lo acepte con brazos abiertos. Pero ahora no se si ise bien. No kiero decir ke me arepiento pero no se ke hacer nunca me eh sentido asi y creo ke el miedo me esta ganando. Quien dijiera ke estubiera en esta situacion :-/

I feel like the floor is moving, looking up at the falling sky, my stomach is in knots and i have no idea why. Floating in this sea of emptiness i see the shimmering lights. The breeze blows past my cheeks as i sink into the abyss.

My mind fills up with many thoughts i try not 2 think of the future but there is so much i want 2 do. I need 2 focus on me right now

I have been avoiding a lot of people, i dont know exactly why but i jus feel like bein alone and not talkin to anyone. Sounds pretty messed up right?

Havent given much thought about what i am goin 2 do but i know that there will be something that will be done, as soon as i know ill post it

Resolutions

So the year has begun and I have yet to think of any resolutions. I know that I want to have one or maybe two but I don't know what they will be yet. I do need to get on this a quick. For my last years resolution, I said that I was going to be positive to anything that crossed my path that I would allow myself to experience something that I on the other hand would have said no to. (I was inspired by the movie Yes man) So that was my resolution and I guess it went ok, I think I could have done a better job with it but hey who knows. Maybe I will try to incorporate that into this years resolution. I truly want this year to be different, special, unforgettable, etc. haha sounds kind of corny but its true. I have years that start out good and the second half its shit. For once I would like to go through a whole year without having it to be so shitty. Lets see how this will turn out.

A new year begins and i hope 2 accomplish sum stuff this year